Letters To My Baby

A little over a year ago I bought a paper time capsule that holds envelopes with specific titles for each letter. The title of the time capsule is, Letters to My Baby. I’ve been holding on to it, not writing in it because some of the envelopes I can’t fill yet. Ones that have titles like, “On The Day You Were Born”, or “Things You Do That Make Me Laugh”. However as I took a look back through this capsule I found things I could answer now. Things like:
Your First Home Was Like This,
Well my darling I can’t tell you exactly what our house will be like because I don’t know where we will be when you come along. I can’t tell you the color of the outside of the house or the color of your first room. I can’t tell you if we will still be in the house we are in now or if we have moved on. What I can tell you is that the house does not make the home. I want you to know that a house is just a house. Some are big and full of fancy things. Some are small and bare. None of that matters, what matters and what makes a home is the people who live there. So I can tell you what it will be like in our home. Home is where love is. It’s where people love you and protect you. They care about you and you share the good times and the bad. That my darling is what you will have. Your home will be filled with love. Your good times will be our good times and your bad times will be shared. Home is where you can dream safely and we will tend to your dreams and wishes with care. Houses are replaceable. The love you feel at home is not.

What I Want You To Know About Me,
When I first read this one part of me thought of all the things I regret. The things that I don’t want to share with anyone, much less you my darling. There are things I can’t wait to share with you. I can’t wait to share my love of books, music and so many other things that are a huge part of my life. I want to show you pictures of things me and your daddy have done. I want to show you places we have been and I want to take you there too. I want to share the world with you. In all of this there are two things I want you to know about me. 1) I want you to know that there is nothing you can’t tell me. No matter how embarrassing. No matter how dark. No matter how terrible. There is nothing in this world that could make my love for you change. If you ever feel alone and like you can’t share your load with anyone know I am here and that I love you. 2) I have always wanted you. There has never been a time and there will never be a time that I do not want you. Adoption is hard. I understand that and I can only assure you that you, my darling, have been my life long dream. You are what I have prayed for. You are what I have cried for. You are every wish I’ve made. You are and always will be enough for me.

All The Things I Hope You’ll Try Someday,
Whatever you dream. I want you to dream. If you want to travel the world than I’ll help you buy the ticket. If you want to be a great inventor, a master pianist, a writer, or a doctor I’ll do everything to help you get there. If you don’t want to ever leave our small town and your dreams are of a family of your own I’ll enjoy every moment of you being close. So what I want you to try is to simply be you.
My Wishes For You,
There are a million things I could list. There are so many wonderful wishes I hold for you that I wouldn’t know where to start or how to finish so I’ll try to keep it simple. My wish for you is that you love God with all your heart. That you’ll know His grace and love. That by knowing those you’ll know that you’re never alone. My wish for you is that you know how much love surrounds you every day. Before you were even here we have prayed for you. We have loved you before you were born. My wish for you is that your life is full of joy and happiness. That you will dream and that you will embrace life. My wish for you is that overcome your fears. That you won’t let the cares and hardships of this life take away the light in you. My wish for you is that you be who you are. That you don’t compare yourself to the people around you and find yourself short. My darling, God gave me His perfect love wrapped up in you. My wishes for you are for everything good, full, pure and full of life.

Something Special About You,
I’m not sure that you’ll ever know just how special you are. As I have told you, you have been prayed for, dreamed of and waited on for years. Some couples decide to have a baby by choice. For some it’s a surprise or an accident. You my darling were chosen. We have prayed that God would send us the perfect baby for us and He sent us you. How can you ever doubt that you’re special? Out of all 7 billion people in the world He picked you. Through everything that might have come up to try to keep us apart we have held on to the hope for you. Me and Daddy talk about you everyday. We pray for you everyday. What we ever did to deserve His love we won’t know but He showed it to us when He gave us the promise of you. You’re worth is beyond measure.

All my love,
Mommy.

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Wonder Woman

My mom is my wonder woman. She has been my superhero for as long as I can remember. She stayed home with me and my brothers, even when it would have been more financially helpful for her to work, my parents made the decision that it was more important for her to be home with us. She was my hero when she would build us a blanket fort in the living room and serve us lunch under it. She was my hero when she would let us stay up late to read just one more chapter out of whatever the book of the week was.  Those early years shaped me and gave me values, faith, and a security that I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere else.  She taught me to read and gave me the love for reading that has carried through my life. She encouraged our imagination and our dreams. She isn’t one to say that something is impossible.  For that alone she is my hero.

She was my hero when she stayed up holding me while I cried all night after my first big heartbreak. She was my hero when she championed my case to doctor after doctor never giving up. She was my hero when she went through a thyroid storm that almost killed her and yet she never questioned God or lost her faith.

Life hasn’t always been nice to my mom. She’s been through things that would break most people. She’s known heartache and loss. She’s known sickness in a way that a lot of people can’t imagine. She has had everything thrown at her and still she is one of the happiest, loving and kind people I have ever known. You hear the expression “they would give you the shirt off their back.”, for my mom that is not just a saying it’s an action. She has given to strangers when she didn’t have hardly anything herself. She radiates love and to everyone around her and I think that’s one of the things I love about her the most. It doesn’t matter if it is a stranger or family, my mom radiates an unguarded, unconditional love that I’ve never known anyone else to have. She inspires me to be better; to love harder.

My mom has set the bar of being a mother for me. The bar is set high, but if I can be half of the mother she has been to me I will have done something. I know I haven’t always done all that I should for her, as a teenager I put her through so much that I regret. Without her I wouldn’t be here. Without her love and support, her prayers and her grace I wouldn’t be who I am. She is my best friend and my guide.

Mom,

One of the greatest and most comforting things about having children will be knowing they will have you for a grandmother.

 

Rachel

Like My Mother Does